Timing

Timing is everything they say. While it’s a cliche, it can be so brutally true that you get smacked across the face with reality.

Enough of the cryptic opening. I’m frustrated. I’m sad. I’m feeling selfish. And as a result of the latter, I’m feeling guilty.

Death in inevitable. We learn this early on in life – some learn it much sooner than what is fair. But there’s really nothing we can do about it.

“The only thing guaranteed in life are death and taxes.”

In the last five years, I’ve had three friends lose a parent. We are all only 38 years old and it just boggles my mind that this has happened within what I consider to be a small circle of friends. I’m going to sound foolish as I try to explain the fact that we’re too young to be losing parents. Having grandparents pass away is hard enough; especially when there are close relationships spanning over multiple decades. But we’re not even in our forties and losing a parent has already started happening to people we hold near and dear. Hearing yet another friend has lost a parent overwhelms me with a lot of emotions at a time when this isn’t about me at all; hence the guilt about feeling selfish and foolish.

I’ll admit that I am very, very fortunate to still have both of my parents and both of my maternal grandparents alive and relatively well. We also have some extended family members who are in their latter years whom are still kicking ass and taking names in their own way. It’s scary as hell when I hear about the passing of folks much younger than these family members. Someday, for all of us, important people will no longer be here and we’re expected to accept that as reality because we have no other choice. I call bullshit (excuse the language. I said I was frustrated).

You get distracted and next thing you know your coffee is cold.

You always hear things like “hold your loved ones close;” “you never know how little time you have left with them;” “you have no idea how much you’ll miss them when they’re gone.”

These motivational guilt-fulled phrases are all well and good, but it doesn’t change the fact that the person on the receiving end of these sentences may have a lot going on in their personal and/or professional life. Maybe they’re barely treading water and feeling incredibly overwhelmed. Maybe geography plays a part in isolating them from being in touch with someone. Maybe it’s a combination of both or other factors. Or maybe just shit happens and before you know it, days, weeks and even years have past and you realize life has zoomed by without you being able to include someone to the extent that you would have liked. I don’t know about you, but I don’t have enough fingers and toes to count off the many people I wish I was in touch with or saw more often.

I’m not sure what the purpose of this post is. I have a lot on my mind and I’m willing to bet I’m not the only person dealing with thoughts like these.

Life happens and then we die.

I need your help: what’s your favourite motivational quote? What phrase, saying or even song helps you nudge yourself out of a negative spiral?