As I dive deeper into parenting, I’ve decided to start a theme – Mommy Musing Monday. As I come across various mommy-isms I’ll share them here and have them post on Mondays. This helps add a little structure, but it also doesn’t have me clumping a bunch of these posts together. It may not happen every Monday, but for now, enjoy!
You know that cry that babies make. The one where they’re not impressed with you, but they obviously can’t properly express themselves with words yet? It’s not a “waaaaaaaahhhhhhh” long drawn-out-in-one-breath-cry. It’s more of a “whaaaa, aaaaaaa, arrrrrgh, aaaahhhhhh, whaaa, whaaaaa, whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!”
Here’s an example of baby swearing (mainly the last few seconds at the end):
I call that baby swearing. I’m certain that if you could subtitle my daughter when she’s having a mini meltdown, that it would not be for polite company. I’m serious. As in, not for evening viewing and you’d only get away with it on AMC or HBO.
It would be nice to think she’s really saying…
“Mother I am most displeased with the current state of affairs. You really need to do something to improve the situation.”
Or maybe, “I’m really quite hungry. Can we please rectify this in a swift manner? It would be most appreciated.”
And possibly, “My diaper seems to be rather moist. I have soiled myself. Please be a dear and change my bum?”
For some reason, when I read those sentences, I hear them in a British voice. Not sure why, but it makes them even funny. Maybe it’s because I envision my daughter to have somewhat of a Stewie Griffin genius personality; the side of him that’s plotting to take over the world and not the part where he’s constantly trying to eliminate his mother Lois.
So did you just reread those “voices” now with a British accent? I bet you did.